Finally Loving Life

Hello beautiful people,

As I’m leaning more into listening to my own gut and spirit, I keep thinking about the first time I heard someone say that you should never follow the crowd. I mean, we get that in a general sense, right? But after making my most recent move, that idea really hit home for me.

I realized that I’ve spent the majority of my life following other people’s paths. Not literally walking behind them, but following the path they suggested for me, the one they labeled based on their perception of who they thought I was. And I just picked up that title, carried it around, and started shaping my life to fit it. Yikes, right?

But now, my own voice is louder, clearer, and I can finally hear myself saying, “Well, that’s not true,” or “Actually, I don’t believe that,” or even, “You know, I really don’t like doing this.” It’s funny how we pick up things along the way, even from childhood, that we’ve long outgrown, or that were never really ours to begin with. Yet we trusted someone else’s perception of us instead of trusting our own.

I recently had a moment where I told my mom that I don’t really like Thanksgiving food, and she was shocked. So shocked that she told my aunt, and they both laughed and said, “Well, what was she eating all these years?” And my mom goes, “I guess she was eating like everyone else.” She figured this was something new, like I just grew out of it, and asked me when it happened. I told her, “I never liked Thanksgiving food,” and honestly, I showed signs of this, but no one was really paying attention… I didn’t say that part to my mom, just to y’all, so don’t tell her. lol. Anyway, when I told her I had always felt that way, she asked, “Why didn’t you say anything?” And I simply said, “Imagine that. Imagine how well that would’ve gone.” Then I added, “It wasn’t a safe space for me to voice that.” She nervously laughed and said, “That is so true,” and then we moved on to the next memory.

In that moment, I felt proud of myself, because I finally reached a place where I was willing to speak up for myself and what I do and don’t want or like, even when it isn’t a popular take.

And honestly, this isn’t unusual. Look at society. It thrives on convincing you that it knows what’s best for you, that what you think you like or want is really just you not knowing any better. It will tell you that you’re never enough and that you never have enough. Unfortunately, a huge part of our relationships and our societal economy depends on the hope that you’ll never learn what you really want or need, who you really are, and that you’re already more than enough.

So I say all of that to say this: don’t wait for someone else to steer you in the right direction. Take control of your life. Take the lead. Speak up for yourself and steer yourself along your path. Your gut is speaking to you for a reason, trust it.

Until next time, love you lots! -Sacred

Photo by James Wheeler