Well hello there, transparency! For this post, I have to be even more open than usual in order to get my points across, so here it goes.
I have been known to hold onto things that I should have let go of a long time ago. Hi, my name is Sacred, and I have abandonment issues. These issues come from years of past trauma that I have dealt with and am still working through. I’m also making peace with the fact that some of these things may never fully go away, so I may have to learn how to move past them rather than “get over” them. At least, that’s what my therapist told me. (Another thing I did for myself… I got help.)
When I find myself holding onto something or someone, I ask myself a simple question:
ARE YOU HAPPY?
Let me be clear — I normally don’t like using the word happy because it means so many different things to different people. So what I really mean is: Can you honestly say that if you stay in it, or with them, that at the end of your life, on your deathbed, you will have no regrets about your decision?
No regrets meaning no wondering what if…
What if I left?
What if I didn’t go back?
What if I really went after what or who I wanted?
Inserted note: This does NOT include something or someone that belongs to someone else! Smh. If someone else’s name is on it or a ring is on it, it is not yours. Move on. Also, “no regrets” doesn’t always mean that you did it exactly the way you wanted to. Sometimes no regrets means, I’ve accepted what happened and how it happened and have no need to try and change the way the things unfolded.
Okay now, back to what I was saying.
Growing older has a funny way of pulling your truths to the surface, sometimes to the point where people are on their deathbed wishing they hadn’t wasted time on someone or something long after they knew that season was over.
Another thing about growing older is that we tend to resist change unless it happens on its own, beyond our control. Haven’t you heard younger people question older people for making big life changes by saying, “You’re old now, you might as well stick it out”? Yep. That’s what older people are thinking too.
Everyone has to make choices based on their own comfort level. All I’m saying is: you are never too young or too old for change, especially if it increases your quality of life. Just don’t get too far down the road and look back wishing you had valued your peace and happiness more.
The same way you can miss something or someone and still never go back is the same way you can love something or someone and still choose to leave. If it isn’t working, it isn’t working.
I hope this resonates deeply with you, beautiful people.
Until next time, Sacred
Finally Loving Life 
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