Joy is so overrated. Stay with me here because if you are feeling detached and uninterested, it may just be a good thing. Your spirit is leading the way, and it no longer needs the things that it used to. Have you noticed that food isn’t as satisfying anymore, or that the activities you used to faithfully do aren’t fun anymore? I can totally relate to this, and when I checked in with myself, I was like, Well, I don’t feel depressed, so what is really going on? Sometimes, these are the first signs that you are starting to detach from the world in the way it flows, and you are now being led by your spirit, which is demanding something different.
Please note, if you are feeling depressed, that is okay too. It just means that this may not be for you, as there are areas of your life that feel wounded and need attention. For those sweet ones, you can look at some of my previous posts on that topic to see if they help. I’ll attach a couple options for you. For those of you who have already done the inner work, checked in with yourselves, and know that this does not stem from depression, this may be the explanation you’ve been seeking.
During this time of exploring my inner self, I found that I no longer needed the highs I once chased.The only thing is, when you finally get out of a space of chaos, constantly putting out fires, and no longer needing to chase the next adventure…well, that can look and feel boring. So here I am, learning how to be still, live in a state of peace, and learn how to rest. Who knew it would be so hard? After living a life of going from one extreme to the next, I had to learn how to live in a state of ease and peace. What I didn’t realize is how boring that felt to my overstimulated self. I was trying to figure out what to do next, but it was more along the lines of What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to be happy? What is the point if I don’t have anything that draws me?
I was struggling, thinking, What’s my thing? If what I used to love no longer serves me, then what am I supposed to do with my time now? What is going to make life fun and enjoyable again? What activities will give me that dopamine hit and excite me like it once did? I began thinking, Okay, I don’t really have anything I want to do anymore. I’ve done it all, things I’ve enjoyed to the fullest, things I’ve done over and over again. Some things I’ll never do again, others I could, but it’s no longer necessary. So, I thought: How do I figure out what I can do that feels like a celebration of life? But I couldn’t find an answer right away, and that made me sad. Most people have dreams, visions, and goals, but here I was, feeling numb, uninterested, and uncertain about what to do. I missed the old version of me, the one who thrived on adventure and excitement, but that life was suddenly gone. I found myself grieving the loss of a life that no longer served me. I hadn’t fully embraced the new me and was stuck in a place of limbo, feeling empty. The version of me that needed those distractions no longer existed.
You see, no one talks about what it feels like when you heal from your old self, the loss of what felt like an emotional support blanket. It was the thing that allowed you to smile, to find joy in life, even through its rough patches.
It took me a while to realize that my emotional support blanket had lost its power. My life used to be filled with activities and adventures that soothed the broken parts of me. I found beauty in those broken pieces, and I created a beautiful life. So, when I lost interest in those things, I was truly baffled.
It wasn’t until I realized that I had connected to those things through my pain, through the hurt parts of myself, that I understood why I no longer felt drawn to them. That was my doorway to healing. Once I healed, the door closed, and the connection was no longer there.
I was finally living a life through spirit, not through the entertainment of my flesh/ego. My life was being guided by wisdom, intellect, and my connection to Spirit, Source, and my ancestors. I no longer needed to do things to cover up my pain. I had to find the door to my new life, a life that no longer required distractions.
Once I let go of the old and sat in the stillness of not knowing, doors began to open for me. But before I could walk through them, I had to shift my mindset. I had to redefine what a beautiful, joyful life really was. My spirit was making demands, demands that weren’t fun or enjoyable in the traditional sense. It wanted me to eat healthy (boooo), to exercise (yuk), to meditate and listen to my inner self, speaking words of abundance over my life. It didn’t feel exciting. It felt boring.
Don’t get me wrong, I could feel the goodness in my body as I visualized this new life. But compared to my old lifestyle, this was the most boring thing I could imagine.
Honestly, I still haven’t fully embraced this new way of being. Rewiring your brain to find joy in what feeds your soul instead of your flesh/ego is not easy. But I’m managing by reminding myself that traditional joy is overrated.
To live a life that nourishes my soul more than my ego may not always feel joyous in the traditional sense. I may not feel joy when completing chores around the house, but the feeling of peace and clarity that comes with a clean space feels amazing.
Now, as I move through life, feeling happy or joyous is no longer a requirement. I do things because they align with my soul’s needs, not because they entertain me. If I waited for joy to show up in everything, I’d still be stuck in the in-between.
Some of the old joys of my previous life have returned, not all, but some. I just can’t enter those spaces through the door of unhealed trauma anymore. Instead, I’ve found healthier ways to access those things.
It may not look glamorous, according to society’s standards of a “beautiful life,” but it is everything my soul needs. It may not always feel joyous, but giving myself permission to flow through life, allowing my spirit to lead the way, that is the most freeing feeling in the world. Scary, but freeing.
I now experience life through my spiritual eye. And as I learn to lean into stillness, rest, and ease, I know that eventually, it will lead me to the door called Joy…just redefined.
Love you lots!
-Sacred
Finally Loving Life 
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