In the shadows of my mind: fear

You know, fear is a powerful thing. I seem to have a lot on my plate these days and it’s doing strange things to me. There is nothing like pursuing a dream to make it a reality that brings out some of the rawest emotions that you hold inside for no one else to see. This discovery can be refreshing yet devastating all at the same time…it’s scary, the feeling itself…is scary. Thoughts come to the surface when you’re up early or late working on various projects for your vision. They come when no one is around, the house is silent, and there is no distraction that can allow you to ignore them. During these times you realize that you haven’t done what you wanted to do, not because you lacked resources or opportunity, but because you lacked the ability to go into the unknown without fear.  To go where you’ve never been before and learn a new method of operation for your entire life. I mean, at least you’ve learned how to maneuver through this version of your life. What’s behind the door that opens to your new life is unknown, its new territory that you don’t know what’s around the corner, what’s over the hill, or how to handle the valleys… ugggh…fear!  It’s a powerful thing! It comes in all shapes and sizes, and it is not prejudice of who, what or how it attaches itself. It’s the fear of failing, to finally take that shot at a dream and miss. As long as it’s a dream, it remains to be something positive that can happen, once you fail at it, it becomes the thing that you couldn’t achieve. The fear of succeeding, the responsibility it takes to keep all of this up! Can I handle it? It’s funny, because although fear brings tears to my eyes, my Spirit is bigger than the fear itself. It pushes me to physically keep going…one step at a time, so that fear will never overpower me…smile. -FLL

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