Have you ever had one of those days?

Have you ever had one of those days where you just felt heavy? Nothing in particular is wrong, yet something feels wrong? I had one of those days today. I woke up burdened without a cause. I ran through a mental checklist of things that could possibly be weighing me down and none of them evoked an emotion one way or the other. I’m not mad about anything, sad about anything, shoot I’m not even anxious or excited about anything in particular, but this weighted heaviness is very present. Its times like these that I have to pull out my favorite scripture Deuteronomy 30:19 where it says, “I set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live.” I like this one because it wakes up the fighter in me and makes me shake off whatever this is. Oh I’m getting rid of this dark cloud and living my day in the light! Instead of giving this dark heaviness power over how I’m going to conduct my day, I’m fighting it toe to toe, using my scripture as my back up. I tell my heavy burden that I’m in a place in my life right now where everything is starting to come into focus for me. I have grown to except my present state; I have developed high self-esteem and started exuding self-confidence.  I broke away from giving people my power and learned to love me, all of me, the good, the bad, and especially the ugly! I started eating healthy and exercising, and I’m gaining control over my finances. I feel that my relationship with God is more like a marriage now, we have our ups and we have our downs, but I ain’t going anywhere! With this declaration, I start to feel like I’m breaking through this dark funk and I realize that there is something that doesn’t want me to move into being the best me I can BE! You can call this heavy burden the enemy, a demonic spirit, or my lesser self that doesn’t want to let go of my past self. All I know is that it’s not mine and it can’t stay here! In realizing this I begin to fight harder. I’m fighting for my life, my peace, my joy, my abundance, my purpose, my freedom from my past. I choose life today, I choose blessings today, and if I have to chant it like it’s my mantra for the day I will. See, this new version of me, the one that has purpose and has finally figured out how to love life regardless of what it throws at me, this is worth fighting for.  It might sound crazy to some, but I tell you, it’s a slippery slope to depression and I’m not taking any chances.  I get one shot at this thing called life and I wasted the first part of my life bowing down to that dark cloud…round 2 is mine!

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